1. Ray of Hope

She is the friend that makes you feel great any time you're down. Not with silly poems, chocolates and flowers… or shopping for that matter.

She's a little slow, has a strictly okay job, isn't all that good looking, and if you're really blessed, she'll be fat too!

Yep, she is your feel-good friend. Any time you think that you've reached your lowest low, give her a ring and you know there's hope. God help you if she gets married before you do!

2. Chamber of Secrets

Now, now, I'm not talking about the friend you run to when you're in trouble. She is the one who tells you everything. Her every little problem… and boy, there'll be lots of them. From how he never buys her anything to how his mother is "turning" him against her.

You may have to take a whole lot of venting but in the grand scheme of things, it's definitely worth it.

Now the secret to this friendship is that you don't tell her squat. This way, you always have a trump card on her. So she will be ready to do anything for you… cleaning up after a party, a little cooking she pays you a surprise visit - you get the drift.

A good place to find this fine friend is at the kiddie playground. Yeah, she's the one with all the frown lines, probably stopping her kid from playing in the sand pit because he'll get dirty!

3. Deep Throat

She's my favourite; she means absolutely no harm (most of the time) but just has to know every darn thing about everyone.

She's the one who prowls Orkut and other community sites on the 'invisible' mode. Who's getting married, who's just had a baby, why your college's most popular sweethearts broke up… this one has the dope on everyone. And in a scary way, she'll help you discover some details about yourself as well.

The real fun kicks in when you all are in a group and she starts to bring up uncomfortable topics about the people present. Why? Oh, the tension!

Yes, she's a complete riot to have around. And it helps if she's a little dramatic. You should see the way my 'Deep Throat' delivers her lines… it's like she has experienced that joy, loss or agony herself.

4. Miss Goody-two-shoes

She's the morally correct one, constantly thinking about the good of society at large. No, you don't need her to ensure that you go to heaven. It's quite the opposite.

She's there to sustain and strengthen the bond between everyone in the group. How? Through all that bitching, of course. Nobody likes a Goody-two-shoes, remember?

Trust me, you won't realise how time flies while you all discuss the 'real' reason behind her morality.

5. Undecided

This one's a killer. He is your 'undecided' friend and he gets a whole lot of flack for it. And in his constant attempt to prove his manhood, he spoils you rotten. From cool gifts to PMS tantrums, he's willing to give and take just about anything.

Catch him off guard, and he just might discuss Brad Pitt's assets with you.

Why do you need her... uhm... him is pretty darn obvious.