Before making ground rules, discuss with your children and try to communicate to them the reasons why rules are made. If explanations are forthcoming, many children can see the sense behind what they consider 'stupid' rules.

Also, tell your child that once in a while, due to peer pressure or any other reason, if she breaks rules, it is ok, as long as she comes and tells you. This is likely to take a lot of pressure off her, and she will feel that she still has some choice.

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Give them a choice When you give children some choice, some freedom, and an escape clause, your kids will rarely break your trust. It is often out of some irrational fears that you may lay down some rules.

Don't assume that if some other child has suffered because of some reason, eliminating that reason will keep your child safe. Think for yourself and don't follow the herd mentality.

For instance if someone you know got typhoid or jaundice because of eating roadside food, say, you ban these foods in your house in order to protect her child from these diseases.

But your child, apart from craving for these foods, can still go and drink unclean water somewhere and lands up with such diseases. He then tends to lose some faith in you because he feels doubly cheated. First, his mother did not let him have roadside food which his friends regularly did. Second, inspite of being an obedient boy, came down with a miserable disease.

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Such a child will be very difficult to control and manage in the future, and will refuse to follow any rules.

Before laying down rules, be rational and scientifically informed. Understand that children too have some native intelligence and can see and understand a whole lot of things.

Keeping in mind the personality of your child, make rules which have broad guidelines, and leave the child with the option to exercise his brains and will. A compromising and consensual attitude rather than one of confrontation will ensure that the message gets across, without forcing the child to resort to lying or cheating.

And every time your child comes up and honestly owns up to some mistake that she committed, see that you praise her honesty. This will want her to remain as truthful as possible, knowing that mommy loves her and praises her when she tells the truth.

As with most child rearing issues, it is better to be open, fluid and rational, rather than adamant. Or else you might yourself be the reason, unknowingly, of your child's dishonesty.Go back to your childhood and remember such 'stupid' rules, which you hated, and often broke, and covered up by lying.

Author: Dr. P.V. Vaidyanathan, (MD, MCH), Paediatrician and Child Specialist, Mumbai