According to Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the capacity to recognise our feelings and those of others, to motivate ourselves and manage our emotions and relationships.

EQ includes personal and social competencies. Personal competencies include self-awareness, self regulation and motivation. Social competencies include empathy and social skills.

In Indian schools, the focus has always been on IQ. However, research and empirical studies have supported that EQ to a very great extent is an indicator of people's success.

Can EQ be learnt? Of course it can! A lot of training and workshops do help you cultivate EQ.

Stay Realistic to Learn More

Self awareness involves a realistic estimate of your capabilities, competencies, limitations, values, motivations and goals.

Sarika, a management executive, got flak from her supervisor for a project that she couldn't do well on. The supervisor blamed her and pointed things that she could have done better.

She was hurt but being a person with good EQ, was aware of her mistakes. Instead of getting worked up about it, she took the boss's critical remarks as feedback and used it while working on the next project.

Sarika did extremely well and got promoted. Good EQ at the workplace will allow you to learn from your mistakes and grow within the company.

As they say learning never stops and self awareness will help you with that, without becoming too critical of yourself!

Control is the Key

What separates some of the exceptional performers from others is also a quality of self regulation of emotions. I remember a participant asking me if EQ meant suppressing your emotions or freely expressing them.

It actually means that you are aware of your emotions and learn to express them in a socially acceptable manner.

A team leader mentioned how her juniors would not follow her orders and for a very long time, she didn't express her concern and anger about it.

However, one day, a tight deadline led her to lose her temper and it ended in a disastrous outburst. If you think you are doing that too, then it's time to learn about EQ!

A good EQ would mean learning to express the right emotion, at the right time and in a non-threatening tone. So, you need to be aware, regulate your emotions, use empathy to gauge when to express yourself. And of course, you will need good interpersonal skills!

Stay Motivated and Focused

Self regulation also manifests itself in the qualities of maintaining company secrets and your commitment to your work.

Another quality that drives the behaviour of top performers is their motivation, which is reflected in their drive for achievement, commitment to the company's goals, initiative and optimism.

A CEO of a company shared how the departmental head of one of the units was intrinsically motivated and set high standards of achievement for himself and his team.

Just by modelling his zest, and the drive to reach his targets, he was able to motivate his team.