"Acceptance is the first step."

It is only natural to be shocked and depressed about your child's condition. Some parents even go into denial about the situation.

"You need to accept the situation completely. Only then will you be able to go on," says Varsha Solanki whose son has Down's Syndrome.

Acceptance is a process, which does not happen overnight. Ignoring the situation will only complicate it. So look for treatment options and ways to deal with the situation.

"Avoid guilt trips."

"A lot of parents blame themselves for their child's condition," says Darshana Mehra, a Social Counsellor at Dilkush, a school for special children.

You must realise that your kid's handicap is not your fault in any way. The important thing is to.help your child cope with the situation.

"Meet other parents."

Interacting with other parents who have cleared the same hurdles helped Varsha. "I joined an association where parents met and discussed problems and found solutions. I benefited a lot from them," she says.

She was advised to have another child to help her son cope. So she adopted a three-month old baby girl.

Interacting with families with similar problems also gives your kid an opportunity to meet and bond with other children like himself. In the process, you will learn how much children with disabilities can accomplish.

"Find out if there are support groups in your area and join them," advises Psychiatrist Dr. Anjali Chhabria.

"Deal with friends and family."

It will not just be you but also your friends and family who will be struggling to cope with their feelings. You might also be worried about the effect of your kid's disability on the people around.

Varsha's family absolutely refused to believe that there was something wrong with her son. "My friends however, told me it wasn't my fault and were there whenever I needed them," she says.

Darshana says accepting the rejection makes it easier. "You might face rejection, blame and indifference, but take it in your stride rather than turn hostile," she suggests.

"Help your other child cope."

Siblings might find it difficult to cope with the situation initially. Dr. Chhabria suggests letting siblings participate in looking after your special child. "Children accept faster than adults. If you accept the situation, half the battle is won," she adds.

Varsha says that her daughter was initially jealous of all the attention showered on her son. But after a visit to a psychiatrist she understood that her brother would not be able to learn the same things that she could. "The two are best friends now!" smiles Varsha.

Dr. Chhabria cautions, "Make sure that your other children are not neglected and stressed out either."

"Look for information."

Ask your paediatrician in detail about your child's condition. Varsha read up on the subject and sought help from a therapist and special educator.

"Try to get as much information about the problem but don't get consumed by all of it," Dr. Chhabria cautions.

The appropriate information will help you handle the situation better. Also, find out the schools that cater particularly to special children.

"Avoid burn out."

Every parent needs time for themselves. And so do you. Go out for a quiet lunch with your husband or catch up on movies.

"Avoid burn out by taking time out for yourself," advises Dr. Chhabria. Otherwise, you might harbour feelings of anger and resentment towards your kid.

It is alright to rely on the support of your extended family or even get external help.