Learn to Care

The decision of a divorce does not just separate two people, but an entire family is torn apart. A new life begins post divorce with new responsibilities such as working by yourself, taking care of the kids alone.

For a male it's taking care of his own laundry and along with all this, dealing with his own emotions and memories. At such times, it's very easy ignore oneself and let buried in work or caring for children.

So it's necessary that at these times, you start taking care of yourself first. You do need to take care of your children, however if you would be sick, unhappy or even frustrated, children will see through it. Express your love and how much you care for the child.

Clarify Doubts

Children around the age of 4 or 5 years often feel that they are responsible for the divorce. Children might very often say that because I don't do my homework, or because I didn't join the football class, so its important to reassure them that they are not responsible for the divorce.

The child may also fear abandonment, so you need to tell him/her how much you love the child and would always be with the child. If the child is in touch with his father then it helps to reassure that, even though he's away, he still loves the child and wouldn't want to see him/her sad.

It is imperative to make the process less difficult for a child and help him understand the reasons and accept that although the parents are divorced, they would continue to love him and be with them.

Your readiness to listen to the child, spending time with the child, and support would help the child make the transition. Remember that parenting is forever.

Sonali Gupta Sonali is a Clinical Psychologist at the Tata Institute of Social Sciences.