When people consider emotional blackmail, most often, they associate it with lovers or spouses. However, Hingorrany asserts that this isn't the case and an individual could be manipulated on several levels by friends, colleague, parents and even teachers.

"In India especially, people interact very closely with neighbours, domestic help, the shop keepers etc. and to distinguish between subtle and extreme emotional blackmail can be very difficult as one person maintains several relationships," says Hingorrany.

You must however, be aware at all times to watch out for typical patterns and behaviours and to do this, you look for specific signals.

Watch Out for Signs

People who use emotional blackmail in their relationships - at work or home - admit that they are aware of the problem but at times, especially while they are behaving in that manner, they can't control themselves.

"You need to assert your authority and try to do it by manipulating the other person's emotions. At first, they try to cajole you and if you don't give in, they get aggressive and in some extreme cases violent," says Hingorrany.
 
Here is how you can know if you are being emotionally blackmailed by someone and a few ways to deal with it.

1. People who want to abuse you emotionally might try to manipulate you into believing that they are superior to you. Therefore, they will try to insult you or put you down at every opportunity.
   
   In such cases, it is important to remember not to allow this person to destroy your self-esteem.
   
   
2. If your partner, friend or colleague is always trying to control you or your behaviour and using emotional ways to do this, then you need to recognise the pattern and stop it.
   
   For example, if they start using your relationship to intimidate you and threaten to end it when something doesn't go their way; it means they are using your emotions against you.
   
   
3. When someone tries to emotionally blackmail you once and it works, they will repeat the behaviour. Look for repetitive situations and behaviours, especially when you are arguing or fighting about something.
   
   
4. Do you feel that this individual is always playing power games with you or making threats and giving you ultimatums?
   
   For example, they accuse you of not loving them enough as you are not doing something that pleases them. This is a sure sign that he or she is blackmailing you. They try to use love as an excuse to get you to do what they want.
   
   
5. Emotional blackmail is a result of environmental stressors. Try and observe when this individual uses blackmail. You might realise that they behave like this in some situations only.

This will not only help you understand whether she is in fact manipulating you, it will also help you get to the bottom of why this behaviour occurs.

Of course, to detect this problem in someone close to you is far easier as you spend a large amount of time with this person.

However, if you are being manipulated by your domestic help or even your local cobbler, it might be hard to tell. In such cases, the best way to ensure that someone is not taking advantage of you is to always verify the facts.

For example, if you have just moved to a new place and decide to get the maid that your neighbour has, check with your neighbour before hiring her.

Find out what she expects in pay and what services she provides. If you have this information beforehand, you are in a better position to negotiate responsibilities and salary.