A perfectionist is someone who allows no room for error. You believe that mistakes must never be made and that the highest standards of performance must always be achieved in everything you do and say.

Stop Being Perfect

Perfectionism is not a positive trait to be worn like a medal. Says Dr. Madhuri Seth, psychotherapist and counsellor, "To a perfectionist, there is no difference between a minor slip and total failure."

This makes you vulnerable to depression, anxiety, obsessive and compulsive behaviour, frustration and anger. It often leads to decreased productivity, poor health, troubled interpersonal relationships and low self-esteem.

Strive in a Healthy Manner

Set standards that can be reasonably attained with proper efforts. Accept that the ideal is only a guideline to be worked toward, not to be achieved 100%.

Focus on being more accepting and pleased with any potential outcome from your decisions.

"I used to be a perfectionist and got very little accomplished in life because I was always trying to make my writing better and nothing was ever perfect enough to submit. Sadly, this attitude limited my progress," says Ruchi Das, Journalist.

"But once, during a motivation seminar, I realised that I had to let go off this 'perfectionist' attitude to be truly successful. Today I strive for my goals in a healthy manner," she continues.

Be Realistic About Expectations

If you set expectations that are way too high, you will always fall short of achieving them. Be realistic about expectations and you will be in a much better position to accept whatever comes your way.

"It is good to have a set standard up to a point. But unrealistic expectations can only lead to failure and stress. Even successful people have a set standard for that," says Dr. Seth.

Aim for Flexibility
 
Perfectionists have difficulty setting flexible standards. But flexibility is necessary to see mistakes as opportunities for growth.

"I believe in being good enough, rather than being perfect. As a model, there is always a pressure to look great and have a fabulous body," says Candice D'souza, Model.

"The quest to attain a desired body shape can get you depressed and stressed. So, I make it a point to stay healthy and eat right," she continues.

Face Your Fears

Perfectionists often equate mistakes with failure. Do not let the fear of failure hold you back. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect.

Writer Anupama Mittal says, "I often ask myself, 'What am I afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen?' When I think it over, it gives me immense confidence."

Remember, you learn by making mistakes.

Be Satisfied

Perfectionists have difficulty delegating tasks to other people as they think that it won't be done correctly. You may want to micromanage every situation and control it minutely to fit your  expectations.

Consequently, you stop trusting people and tend to overstress yourself..

Stop Being a Control Freak

It is easy to list hard work, long work hours and attention to detail as prerequisites to getting ahead. However, the goal of doing good work can easily cross into unhealthy perfectionism.

"I used to be super-organised, ultra-clean and a neatness freak. This alienated me from my husband and kids as they could never match my standards," says Archana Sinha, Homemaker.  "I had to seek counselling for my obsessive compulsive disorder. I realised that I had turned into a control freak."

So, if your perfectionism is leading to paranoia and interfering with your relationships, then it is time you go a little easy on yourself.

Author: Flavia Gonsalves Ger