Mother to Child
May 30, 2007
Family Matters
Nandita's biggest fear was that she was depriving Ananya of a family set-up. However, friends assured her that she was doing the right thing. "There are so many single parents and all their children do not necessarily go wayward. What are the guarantees in life anyway?" she asks.
"The doubts only happen if you think of the child you brought home as adopted. The difference lies only in the mind," says Bhairavi. She adopted yet again when her first kid was five and a half. Interestingly, it was her daughter Radha who selected her brother Malhar.
Straight Answers
"Where is the blood relationship between mummy and papa," asked Bhairavi to console her daughter Radha, now 14 years old, when she wanted to know why she had not come from 'mummy's tummy'."
"Your papa selected a good girl and got married and then we both selected a good baby for ourselves," explained Bhairavi and adds, "She feels selected." Counsellors advice parents to tell children they are adopted as soon as they are able to understand.
According to V.S. Gandhinathan, senior adoption coordinator at Families for Children, a Coimbatore based adoption agency, parents are advised to bring in their children from the age of two years. They are then told that they were playing here when their parents selected them.
For Nandita, Ananya will know about her adoption when she is two or three years old. Conversations could have lines such as, 'The day when I brought you from an institution' and 'I specially chose you'.
Nandita sums it up best when she says, "My aim is to ingrain in her that there is nothing abnormal, subnormal or different about her. I have always found the strength to do things, which I think are right and I don't see why she won't find it too."
Nandita's biggest fear was that she was depriving Ananya of a family set-up. However, friends assured her that she was doing the right thing. "There are so many single parents and all their children do not necessarily go wayward. What are the guarantees in life anyway?" she asks.
"The doubts only happen if you think of the child you brought home as adopted. The difference lies only in the mind," says Bhairavi. She adopted yet again when her first kid was five and a half. Interestingly, it was her daughter Radha who selected her brother Malhar.
Straight Answers
"Where is the blood relationship between mummy and papa," asked Bhairavi to console her daughter Radha, now 14 years old, when she wanted to know why she had not come from 'mummy's tummy'."
"Your papa selected a good girl and got married and then we both selected a good baby for ourselves," explained Bhairavi and adds, "She feels selected." Counsellors advice parents to tell children they are adopted as soon as they are able to understand.
According to V.S. Gandhinathan, senior adoption coordinator at Families for Children, a Coimbatore based adoption agency, parents are advised to bring in their children from the age of two years. They are then told that they were playing here when their parents selected them.
For Nandita, Ananya will know about her adoption when she is two or three years old. Conversations could have lines such as, 'The day when I brought you from an institution' and 'I specially chose you'.
Nandita sums it up best when she says, "My aim is to ingrain in her that there is nothing abnormal, subnormal or different about her. I have always found the strength to do things, which I think are right and I don't see why she won't find it too."
Mail this Topic 
A Network Eighteen Venture
Tell us what you think…