The fundamental question is, What should I do now?

A quick, direct answer is: Nothing. Or, shall we say, nothing major.

A couple of simple things to look out for would be bills and utility payments. Take control of the bank account. Simply make those payments on time so that basic necessities do not suffer.

Take no major financial decisions now. Let money remain in fixed deposits and/or savings account of liquid funds for a couple of months.

Many people will approach you to invest in various schemes. No matter how good their pitch and how lucrative the opportunity, push them away. There is rarely any investment or opportunity that can't wait or will not come by again.

Talk to other widows who have been in this phase for some time. Understand what they are doing and how they are managing things. This will give you confidence, boost your morale and help you learn from the issues they faced.

This is a a time where family, friends and generally everyone around wants to help you with condolences, emotional support and financial advice.

Accept the condolences. Stay away from the advice, which is quite likely to be conflicting and can cause unnecessary stress and pressure. Tell them to help you with advice a little later when you have fully recovered from the emotional trauma and stress.

Once you are emotionally steady, you are ready to step into a life independent of your spouse. The following is also applicable for those who have been widows for many months or years.

Let us first look at assets. How much do you have? List them on a piece of paper. How much will come in or has come in via monies owed to your husband, death benefits from employment, life insurance policies, spouse pension etc?

Make a log of your inflows. Ensure these happen or at least the process has been activated.

Next, look at liabilities. Take all regular expenses into consideration. Eliminate irrelevant ones, such as extra telephone line/s, credit cards, etc. Check and double check if there are payments to be made by your husband to vendors/ creditors so that you are not cheated and do not double pay.

Pay off any expensive loans such as personal loans and overdrafts. But do consult an expert for payment of large liabilities such as housing loans.

There could be better ways to use that money. Or you may need the money for something in the near or distant future.