Dr. Chhabria says: Normally, in love marriages partners tend to presume certain things about each other. And once they get married, they realise that these were presumptions and not reality. When reality strikes, there's disappointment and resentment. Consequently, small non-issues get blown out of proportions.

Not Communicating

When Diandra married Sean, all of a sudden she was learning to deal with his piques, preferences and idiosyncrasies. They fought on their first dinner date after the wedding because Sean gave Diandra some spiel about paying more attention to his mother.

Diandra thought that the conversation was totally unnecessary because she seemed to be adjusting quite well with her mother-in-law. She was shocked and angry.

In Diandra's case, the situation may have had to do with the wedding, a rush of post-wedding emptiness, stress about her new life and adjustments, a sense of loss (she moved out of her parents' familiar home and into a new one with her husband (or in-laws).

But whatever the situation, she didn't ignore the negativity she felt-she told Sean exactly how she felt and he saw her point. In a new marriage positive communication is a prerequisite.

Dr. Chhabria says: Talk to each other about your relationship-discuss the ground realities of marriage, your expectations and your interpretations. After all, you did take those vows together, so it's only natural that you confide in each other.

Also Read: Finding Love in an Arranged Marriage

Not Maintaining Your Own Individuality

Maintain your separate individual identities. Don't impose your needs on him or try to change him.

Leena got used to Gautam taking her out a lot during their courtship. After marriage, he would hastily excuse himself from going out. Initially she felt rejected and moped around. But after a few months of sulking she decided to do her own thing. She would round up her friends and have fun shopping and going out with the girls.

When she took this step two things changed: She got what she wanted and Gautam, feeling guilty, started initiating going out together more often.

Dr. Chhabria says: Marriage is only a change of address!-if you look at it this way, you'll be happy. A happily married couple is one that can go out to dinner or watch television in silence because they are truly and totally comfortable with each other-in each other's silence. If you're bored, just do your own thing. Don't blame your spouse for your boredom.

Before he came along, you were perfectly capable of managing your needs-why should things change now because you have a partner?

Also Read: Why People Change After Marriage