“I do not like my wife spending on luxury goods….”

Shalini and Tapan Joshi are married for three years now. Tapan started his own business six months back and is the sole earning member in his family. He decides how to spend and there are times when he and Shalini argue about money.

Shalini loves to buy expensive products, which Tapan does not approve of. “I want the best for her but we cannot afford it every time. We need to save, especially if there is a wedding or a festival round the corner. It becomes difficult to explain this to her,” he says.

According to him, spending money on designer wear or a fancy pair of shoes is just unnecessary. He would rather invest in something valuable, like gold. Adds Shalini, “Whenever we argue, Tapan explains why we cannot spend a particular amount. We have small talks on money matters; I guess they help to understand the situation better.”

Discuss, Discuss and Discuss…

Clinical psychologist Varkha Chulani says, "Before getting married, it is important that couples talk about money as they would about other matters. This can help them clear doubts and they know what to expect once they get married. However, that does not mean the end to all problems but talking about it helps."

Honey, Let Us Talk Money

• Money is as important in a relationship as is love, sex and work!
• It is important that you know about your partners bank accounts.
• Never use a threatening tone while discussing.
• When discussing, avoid using ‘I’ or ‘you’. It makes matters worse. Use ‘we’ instead.
• Consult a psychologist / relationship counsellor if matters get out of hand.

“He spends like there is no tomorrow…”

When it comes to the Bhattacharya couple Vishakha and Tushar, there is a role reversal of sorts. Vishakha does not approve of Tushar’s extravagant purchases and is the ‘man’ of the house who takes a call on the spending element.

Married for five years now, Tushar is a freelance photographer while Vishakha is a journalist. Having moved from Delhi to Mumbai in January this year, he lives for today while she thinks about the future.

"The moment Tushar sets his eyes on something he likes; he wants to buy it at that moment," says Vishakha. She continues, "Recently, he called me in the middle of a meeting and insisted we buy a laptop. Though I refused, he insisted we take a loan. I am completely against loans as they can prove expensive – you might end up paying more than necessary."