Your child loses control physically as well as emotionally. These are displays of disapproval of your decisions.

Tantrums may include biting, whining, yelling, swearing, kicking, throwing, vomiting, head-banging, breath-holding, undressing, scratching, sulking, hiding, hitting, running and tears. You think he could harm himself or others.

Your response: Hold your child. Tell him that you will hold him until he calms down and gets some control over himself. Some children are frightened by the intensity of their own feelings.

Be your child's anchor; even if he's lost control, assure him that you won't. Don't give in to a tantrum. It will be ten times worse the next time. Do not talk to the child in the middle of their performance.

Isolate yourself and the child and have a very meaningful talk when he / she is done.

Managing Tantrums

It is said that it is best to ignore tantrums, but know which ones to ignore and which ones to notice.

Certain types of tantrums might turn out to be a way of getting things done, like blackmail and it will only get worse as the years go by. Make sure you maintain your calm. Offer alternative solutions. Help your child verbalise his feelings.

Give loads of loving hugs, they are very reassuring. Talk to other parents on their experiences.

Parenting is a full time job and involves a lot of hard work. We can choose to be proactive or reactive in relation to tantrums. We can work hard proactively at the root cause of the tantrums, or we can work hard reactively when they are expressed.

Toddler tantrums can be greatly minimised by patient and gentle proactive training. Provide your child with a positive environment in which she can learn self-control.

Author: Veena Balakrishnan

(Veena is an early childhood educator by profession and passion. She also has keen interest in handwork, graphology and experimentation.)