Timing is Everything

Gynaecologist Dr. Sudha Tandon suggests that it might be preferable to tell children about the pregnancy after the first trimester. This is the period when to-be-mothers need to be most careful about their upcoming baby. The first trimester is associated with more risk  of  a miscarriage as compared to the second and the third. Moreover, children may not be able to understand the nine month period.

However, if morning sickness is affecting your daily routine and in turn, your older child's routine, then it's alright to let the child know a little earlier.

Word It Well

Also consider your child's age. Tell him only what he needs to know and in a way that he will be able to understand. Dr. Sudha Tandon says that if the child is one and half or two years of age, he may not understand. So it will get difficult for parents to communicate.

However you have a toddler of about 3 years, she will most likely be more than happy about the news and easily accept her new sibling growing inside the mommy's belly. If you have a teen or adolescent, then take this opportunity to explain to them the details of a pregnancy and baby's development. This would also be a good time for the sex education chat.

Sometimes teens might feel awkward or embarrassed at the thought of their mother's pregnancy. The age gap and concerns about reactions of others may worry her. You need to give her some time to accept the news.

She might also be concerned about changes that she will have to make such as giving up her free time to babysit or sharing her room. Answer her questions as honestly as possible.

When Nalini Gupta was expecting her second son, she and her husband, sat with their older son and said; "Soon you will have either a brother or sister to play with." Nalini then pointed to her belly and told him that the baby is here as of now, but will be born in another five months. And that would be the baby's birthday.

They also told him that if he gets a brother, they would name him Gaurav and if a sister, Neha. They felt that a name, made it easier for the older son to identify with his new sibling.

It is essential that you let your child ask questions if he has any. Younger kids are likely to ask questions like, "Where did the baby come from?" "Where's the baby now?" "Can the baby hear me?" So answer her in a way that she will understand.

You could also engage her in imaginative play and role-play on how she will play with or take care of her new sibling. You could even ask her what she would like to name the baby. It will prepare her for her brother or sister's arrival.

Preparing the child

Your child needs to be prepared for the changes that come with a new baby. Some parents go through old photo albums of their older kid and tell them that the little baby will also look like they did when they were younger.

You could also involve your kid in the preparations for the new baby, like choosing a name and setting up the room.

Dr. Tandon, encourages older children to accompany the mother for check ups, from fifth and sixth month onwards.

If your kid is used to you being around all the time, then make sure you tell him that during your delivery, you won't be around. Help him get used to the nanny the person who will take care of him at the time.

Dr. Sudha Tandon also advises mothers to take extra care of the older child, both during and after pregnancy, as she is still adjusting to the change.

Remember, every child adjusts to his new sibling. But the adjustment period may vary. So let your first baby know that you still love her, just as much.