Relax!

Your child's new best friend is simply a figment of his imagination and a part of growing up.

"Children usually develop imaginary friends between the ages of three and eight. This is the time when they begin to form their own identities and test the boundaries between fantasy and reality," informs Dr. Nirmala Rao, Psychiatrist.

Does He Know Hobbes?

Unlike the cartoon character Calvin, who has only one faithful, make-believe pal (Hobbes), your child could have as many as five or more imaginary friends at a time.

"When my daughter was five years old, she had a new imaginary friend every single day… Meena, Pinky, Lakshmi," remembers Neelam Singh, a mother of two.

And the friends needn't be limited to humans alone. "Where your child's creativity is concerned, it can extend to animals, toys, plants and insects as well," says Dr. Rao.

Mystery Behind the Mystery Friend

Most imaginary playmates are a part of early development and continue well into schooling years.

A pretend play usually begins at the age of three. This is when the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred and kids are easily impressionable.

A random bedtime story or a cartoon show could stir up their imagination and be expressed in the form of an imaginary friend.

Since most decisions are made by parents, children are always on the look out for situations where they can exercise power and control.

For instance, a child may not like going to a doctor but is forced to. So when she returns home, she becomes the doctor and her imaginary friend becomes the patient, where she can give it as many shots or medicines as she wants.

It can also be a way of dealing with a sudden loss.

Nilanjana Menon, a mother of a ten-year-old recalls how her then six-year-old daughter dealt with her separation from her best friend when they moved cities. "Shruti was my daughter's best friend and they were inseparable. So when we shifted to a new city, she created this imaginary friend who was an alter ego of Shruti."

Time for Concern

Most often these fantasies are harmless and over a period of time your child will grow out of it.

However, it can become a cause for concern when the child indulges in a fantasy play excessively.

Take your cues from the intensity and duration of your child's involvement with the imaginary friend. "If she spends more time with imaginary friends and avoids contact with real people, then she may be undergoing some psychological stress," informs Dr. Rao.

In such cases, consult a child psychologist or a psychiatrist to find out if your child has any underlying anxieties or fears.

In normal circumstances, go with the flow but within limits. Do not belittle or discourage your child. You can gently but firmly make him realise that it is only make-believe.

Above all, try to enjoy this natural phase of your child's growth. An imaginary friend is your child's innovative way to dealing with day-to-day complexities of life.