• Remember that children are impressionable. They could be picking up their lying habit from you. Be a role-model for honest communications and integrity.
  
  For example, if your child hears you fib to your mother-in-law about how much you love the sweater she gave you (when in truth you never wear it), you may be suggesting that lying is acceptable.
  
  
• Explain that trust is a key part of your relationship.
  
  
• Reframe the word lying. Use words that mean the same, but soften the conflict. For example, instead of saying, "Don't lie to me," try saying, "Tell me the truth."
  
  
• Children may be embarrassed or sensitive about telling the truth. So no matter what they say, never ridicule or embarrass your child about her failures, weaknesses or dreams.
  
  
• Never 'set your child up', by being aware of a lie and then asking him for the truth without discussing that you have information. Acknowledge up-front that you know what's going on.
  
  
• Keep an eye on your child's behaviour (without over-involvement), to see if you notice any 'red-signals'. Stay out of power-struggles with teens over deception.

• Instead of punishments try talking about the lie or misbehaviour. As in why he lied to you, how it upset you and how if he repeated it, it would hurt you.
  
  
• Make it easy for your child to open up. Set aside a few minutes each day for some one-on-one time. Kids will often discuss what's bothering them when they're engaged in another activity, like playing a game.
  
  
• When your child admits that he's often too tired after cricket practice to do his homework, or that he is doing poorly in school, praise him for his honesty and help him figure out what he could do differently.
  
  
• Let your child know that you trust her. Give up a little parental control and let her handle some responsibilities like making sure her homework gets done or that her bed gets made every day.
  
  
• Although it's perfectly normal for her to break some rules without your knowledge, keep a check on her. Stay involved… check with her teacher; you can avoid asking questions that may evoke more lies.
  
  
• It tends to be easier to tell when a younger kid is lying, as they are less experienced at masking body language. Watch his eyes for lack of eye contact, the tone of voice for a slight quiver, etc. But don't spend too much energy here, as it treats your kids as suspects.
  
  
• Keep the lines of communication open. Set boundaries and limits. Set logical consequences and stick to them. This way, you can reduce the opportunity for kids to lie.

Lies aren't new to you; we have all been there and done that. So just think about how you would have liked to be treated in a similar situation. This will help you be a good parent and friend.

Author: Veena Balakrishnan

(Veena is an early childhood educator by profession and passion. She also has keen interest in handwork, graphology and experimentation.)