A parent in counselling mentioned that as a child, she was never told about death. However, the train bombings in Mumbai in July 2006 forced her to address the issue with her six-year-old daughter.

This happened in spite of banning her daughter from watching the news coverage of the incident. Apparently, the girl had heard about the incident from her classmates and the conversations between parents at the bus stop.

No matter how young or what you do to shield your child from death, she will learn about it. So it is best if you addressed the issue.

Talking The Talk

Normally the death of a pet offers a chance for you to clarify your child's doubts regarding death.  Situations such as the death of family member or even a disaster can force you to have the 'death talk' with your kids.

You must remember that such tragedies impact children even if they do not openly speak about it. As a parent, you need to be sensitive to what your kid is going through and offer him tender loving care that will help him deal with the grief.

Children often ask questions like, "What do you mean by dead?" "Does it hurt when you die?" and
"Can grandpa hear me?"

In today's age of soap operas where characters die and are reborn a season later, children often wonder if their loved ones will come back. You need to tell her that when someone dies, the person doesn't come back .

A good way to reassure her is to say that although grandma is no longer there, she will continue to live in your memories. Talk about the good times you all shared together and help her remember the fun moments.

Remember...

Keep these pointers in mind while talking to your child about death.

• Explain death in a language he can understand.
• Depending on your child's age, decide how detailed your explanation should be.
• Listen to her questions and answer them as honestly as possible.
• Allow him to grieve. Tell him that it's okay to cry is he feels like it.
• Assure her that you will be there to take care of her.
• Don't say things like, "Grandpa has gone to sleep" or "The dog went away".
• Don't stop him from verbalising his feelings and emotions.

Children learn and imitate their parents, so the way you deal with the loss is important.

Often after a loved one is lost, children feel confused or lost about what's happening. So be there for her and give her the extra care and attention that she needs.

Be sure to keep a check on her and see how she is coping with the situation. With your support and love, she will be fine in a little while.