New Delhi: Hearing that your child has been sexually abused is every parent's nightmare. And compounding the problem is that victims of abuse internalise a lot of guilt because of the associated shame and rarely disclose that they have been abused.

Child psychiatrist, Dr Amit Sen says that the issue needs sensitive handling. "Sexually abused children are more precocious. There are sexualised behaviours in the way they talk, their mannerisms or the content of their talk.

Also a feeling of shame and guilt might be hiding not only the fact that they're getting abused but anything else that they think will make a parent or teacher upset. Also they become very vigilant, often you see them scanning their surroundings and people around them," Sen explains.

Younger children face bigger conflicts as to who they should confide in while some even start bed-wetting due to anxiety. As a result, grades may drop in school, the child may lose the ability to trust and be unable to develop healthy relationships with adults.

According to a study of 350 schoolgirls in the Capital in 1997, 63 per cent of the girls had experienced child sexual abuse by a family member.

Another study of 1,000 women across the country found that 76 per cent had been sexually abused as children while 40 per cent of these had been abused by a family member.

The same study found that 50 per cent of the sexual abuse took place when the children were under 12. So, as a parent, it's imperative to communicate with a child that all adults are not to be trusted. From an early age, children should also be explained the difference between a "good touch" and "bad touch".

"Make it very clear that it could be anybody, cousins, uncles or aunts but it is right to inform the parents. Make it clear to children that just because a person is in a position of power doesn't make him safe. Make them (children) think like that as often children can't put these things together," Sen says.

The disturbing truth is that at first paedophiles manipulate children, it could be with a bribe of a stuffed animal or a chocolate or a sweet.

The larger message is that they could be anywhere, already in your circle of trust, which makes open communication with your child even more important.