After having written the feature on inter-caste marriages – ‘Inter-caste marriages: Is love wrong or parents right?’ – one realized it was not going to be an easy choice.

Readers also got into a heated debate in the comments section. On one hand are the parents/family who have cared and loved you since birth and on the other hand is the future with the person you love and want to create a family with.

Is it selfish to give up one family to make another? Are you letting your parents down? With as little literary liberty as possible, this story is a real-life story, with names changed to protect identities. However, this feature does not promote or suggest that you do the same.

Every situation and every family is different.

Base your decisions and judgments on the facts at hand and be prepared for the repercussions. You might get a new family and you might never speak to your parents or current family again.

The Story

He (let’s call him Amit) had first seen Her (Nisha) in college, or they had seen each other, the details over the last 10 years have grown fuzzy. Amit remembers though that Nisha was wearing a salwar-kameez, nothing spectacular, except that she stood very straight and carried herself with a poise that usually befits someone older, not a 19-year-old.

Neither of them was your textbook idea of good looking, yet both had an innate confidence. They were in the same class.

Their first conversation was in the college canteen, or so Amit recalls. Nisha says it was when he asked for her notes.

Conversations were never tough as they could argue on almost any subject since their thoughts differed on every subject.

Three years of college flew by and Amit got his first job in another city. Nisha decided to pursue a specialized course in graphic designing. Another two years went by with emails, phone conversations and twice a year meeting when possible.

It took a toll on both of them, but Amit and Nisha knew that their initial separation was nothing compared to the life of togetherness they hoped lay ahead for them. Both decided to talk to their respective parents.

Amit’s parents had no problems with the marriage. Nisha’s parents though… Amit spoke to her father and requested for her hand in marriage… and was summarily refused. Amit was a Punjabi, Nisha was a Jain. It was impossible.

For a year they kept trying to talk to Nisha’s parents with no result. Then things went from bad to worse pretty quickly. Even as she was barred from meeting Amit, Nisha’s father started looking for a match.

They found a pilot – good looking, earning well and from their caste – while Amit was just starting out in business in Mumbai; Nisha lived in a nearby city. Before you read further tell us: What would you do if faced with a similar situation? It was then that Amit decided to speak to the Pilot who had been ‘found’ for Nisha.

The two men met at a coffee shop and Amit requested the Pilot to reject the proposal, narrating how he loved the girl and how Nisha reciprocated as well.

The Pilot heard the story and then made his decision. He gave Amit 24 hours to marry Nisha: Then the Pilot would not only reject the proposal, he would also tell Nisha’s father the whole story about Amit approaching him.