Avtar Singh Grewal, an NRI businessman in Vancouver, Canada, is under arrest in Delhi for allegedly killing his estranged wife Navneet in USA.

Avtar allegedly strangled Navneet Kaur, daughter of a senior police officer, in Phoenix, Arizona, and then fled to India. Police allege Avtar was jealous of Navneet, who worked for an IT company, and kept harassing her even after she left him.

Navneet is one of the hundreds of women in India who married NRIs for a better life abroad but soon found that the marriage was a nightmare. Kiranjit Ahluwalia endured 10 years of violent abuse from her UK-based husband before she killed him in May 1989.

A court sentenced Ahluwalia to life in prison but she was later released. Provoked, a film on the Ahluwalia’s life, opens this Friday.

Ahluwalia has become an inspiration to hundreds of Indian women abroad who suffer domestic violence every day.

Provoked is about one woman who fought back but it raises another question: why do Indian women who have been duped and abused by their NRI husbands don’t turn to India for help? Are the laws inadequate in this country? Are NRI women more vulnerable to violence from their husbands?

India 360 asked this to a panel comprising Sherry Sabbarwal, Sociology Professor at Punjab University, Murugavel Janakiraman, CEO of Bharatmatrimony.com, and Sneha Singh, Secretary of Ark Foundation and who was once married to an NRI.

Real Life Story

Sneha Singh said she didn’t know much about her groom but still married him. Her parents didn’t find about the US-based groom-a mistake. Her husband, mother-in-law and sisters-in-law turned out be schizophrenics.

“Every parent should find out about the whereabouts and history of the family and the groom. They tend to forget it in a hush-hush situation because they feel the boy is like a hot cake and they want to grab it, especially in Punjab,” Sneha said.

“My husband had quit his job in January 2003 but placed a matrimonial ad in June 2003. Our wedding took place in December 2003,” Sneha said.

Punjabi Fetish

Hundreds of women in Punjab marry Indians living abroad because they think their marriage would be a ticket to a better life. But for many of these women life turns hell when their husbands abandon them. Such cases have become so common that the Indian government has now published a guidebook for families planning to marry their daughters abroad.

“NRI men abandoning wives is not a new phenomenon in the UK and US. It has been happening for over two decades now. But it’s surprising that despite still want to get their daughters married off to such men and girls themselves want to marry men abroad,” Sherry Sabbarwal said.

This dream of marrying abroad has become a fixation in Punjab. “Punjab is an extremely orthodox patriarchal society. On the one hand you have a society where you feel you are not treated well and on other you feel you would get a better life if you go to another country. That is the surprising factor: the risk of marrying a person who may not be on the level is preferable to the women here rather than marrying a local boy. There is a fetish for anything foreign,” Sherry said.